Monday, July 27, 2009

The Rainbow: Should Gays Embrace Refracted Light?

To be honest, the Rainbow Flag never worked for me as a homosexual. I never felt "connected" to refracted light as a representation of my sexuality. It looked more like.... well.... refracted light. Quite frankly I'm not sure what's so gay about it. I don't see a connection between homosexuality and the rainbow. So I'm wondering why the gays took it as their symbol. Since kindergarden art class, I had always believed rainbows to be what people of different colors and creeds held hands under.... and that they came after it rained. I know that each color is supposed to represent something. I wanted to go through them and figure out what makes the rainbow so gay.

RED: Stands for Life. Based on what I've seen with red, it seems not so much about life and more of an angry and violent color. It's all a crazed person sees before they go blind with rage. A stab wound victim is covered in it. Bulls charge at it angrily. There was the Red Scare, the Soviet Red Army, Red States, Red Eye, Red Dragon, Red Dawn (once considered to be the most violent film according to Guinness), Hunt for the Red October, and SATAN!!! All are very angry or violent. Doesn't seem like the ideal parts of Life to me.

ORANGE: Stands for Healing. I've never seen any orange healing, well maybe from oranges since they're good for you. But aside from the fruit, the first thing I think of is Prison Jumpsuits, so I guess there is some healing intended with the orange jumpsuits, prisons supposed to be rehabilitating and all.... but it's still a prison jumpsuit. 

YELLOW: Stands for sunlight. I gotta say, when I see yellow I think of weakness. Don't be a Yellow-Bellied Homo. Okay, an outdated insult, but still an insult nevertheless. If someone calls you yellow, they're calling you a coward. I don't feel like a sunny individual when I'm called yellow.

GREEN: Stands for nature. Very cute idea because of the popular Green movement going on in this country but when I see green I think of the Irish. Did you know that gay organizations are excluded from marching in the New York St. Patricks Day Parade? Make you reconsider hosting such a color, yes?

BLUE: Stands for serenity and harmony. Blue? Blue is a sad color. If you're feeling blue, are you feeling gay? Most certainly not.

VIOLET: Stands for spirit...Well this color seems to work just fine. It's a color of royalty, the color of many pretty flowers, gender neutral with a lean towards femininity, and thanks to the Baltimore Ravens and Minnesota Vikings its a tough color too. My homosexual brethren, I believe we have found our Pride color.

So violet is the only one that passes. I feel a connection with that. When I'm wearing violet, I feel gay. There's nothing really negative about violet, it just seems right. I feel much prouder of my sexuality with the color violet to identify with. One color, many meanings, all good. Perfect for gays. Now the rainbow can be free for all those people of different colors and creeds to hold hands under.



Sunday, July 26, 2009

Bored on a Saturday Night

I had nothing to do on Saturday Night. While I was safe in my comfort zone eating ice cream and cookies while watching 30 Rock, I thought I should be a little more adventurous considering my young age. I wanted to go out. Having very few friends in my hometown of Baltimore, I turned to Google to help me figure out something to do on this lonesome Saturday Night. I typed in the search bar, "what can you do in downtown Baltimore on Saturday night?" 

The very first link that appeared was an ABC news headline, "2 Stabbed After Large Fight in Downtown Baltimore." I don't know about most people, but I'd prefer NOT getting stabbed on my Saturday Night. I was a little surprised that the first link regarding going out on Saturday nights was about murder, but then I remembered where I lived, Baltimore, Maryland, also known as, "Bodymore, Murderland." It occurred to me that maybe "Bodymore" is not the best city to have fun on a Saturday night, and I decided to look up other cities...

Google Search: "What can you do in Washington DC on Saturday Night?"
Hit: "Another Saturday Night, and I Ain't got Nobody." link to a list of popular singles clubs.
Assessment: Oh, I can relate, you poor, disenfranchised... whatever you call someone from DC...

Google Search: Philadelphia
Hit: "Wow! What a Saturday night in Philadelphia!" alright here we go Philly. Sounds exciting! It's a Bruce Springsteen concert.... from 2007.
Assessment: Mkay, sounds really fun.... if I had a time machine...

Google Search: New York City
Hit: "Circle Line Special Events: Dance Cruise of New York City's Harbor" Dancing on a boat in the greatest city in the world... alright sounds interesting.
Assessment: I cannot for the life of me get the image of an epic conga line of elderly folks wearing Hawaiian TShirts out of my head.

Google Search: Boston
Hit: "Everybody's out on a Saturday Night"
Assessment: Well thanks for rubbing that in, Boston.

Google Search: Chicago
Hit: "Bars: Downtown Chicago"
Assessment: A list of bars in downtown Chicago. Straight to the point. No funny business here.

Google Search: Nashville
Hit: "Steve McNair and Sahel Kazemi killed" oh my.
Assessment: This happened July 4th... I guess that's the most interesting thing happening there on Saturday nights... mkay not my kinda town.

Google Search: Cleveland
Hit: "What do teens do around Cleveland Saturday night?" just a yahoo answers deal.
Assessment: My teacher always taught me never to answer a question with another question. Especially with the same question, for that matter.

Google Search: New Orleans
Hit: "25 year old slain Saturday night in eastern New Orleans"
Assessment: Died on the scene from multiple shot wounds.... alright, don't think I'll be traveling there anytime soon.

Google Search: Miami
Hit: "Disco Saturday night in Downtown Miami"
Assessment: Oh, Miami, you continue to surprise me.

Google Search: Las Vegas
Hit: "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas"
Assessment: Pardon me.

Google Search: Seattle
Hit: "The Saturday Night Massacre" Killings made in clubs in Seattle, cops cracking down on it
Assessment: Oooohhhhhh sounds like a horror slasher movie, I'd go just to watch, but I'd ask to not be involved.

Google Search: Los Angeles
Hit: "Free - Concerts @ Pershing Square Downtown Los Angeles"
Assessment: Alright, concerts are awesome. And just in my price range! 

While I am envious of most cities and their interesting offers they have on Saturday nights, I am glad that I did something with my time, which did not involve stuffing my face with cookies and chips while watching late night tv shows. I'm happy that I know what cities I can go to for a good Saturday night, and what cities to avoid so I don't get murdered.